O.J. Simpson is back in the news with the 30 for 30 documentary. Stephen A. Smith asserted that, without legal training, he would have been able to get a conviction for murder.
Rather than question Stephen A’s undoubted acumen in dealing with difficult situations outside his purview, we offer five historical catastrophes that also could have been averted with a dollop of Stephen A’s circuitous diction.
World War I: Stephen A can’t save the Archduke in Sarajevo. Stephen A can’t resolve the underlying tensions. But, a month’s worth of straight talk on First Take convinces the belligerents a slight loss of face was preferable to a half-century of horrific, mechanized warfare.
Mongol Conquest of Khwarezm: Stephen A reminds Muhammad II in no uncertain terms the foolishness of messing with one of the all-time greats, Genghis Khan. Accept the envoys. Treat them to a nice dinner. Negotiate a trade deal. Don’t put the merchant party to death.
Suez Crisis: Stephen A has tremendous respect for the British people, the Empire, and the sacrifices they made defeating Hitler. But, he must respectfully inform them it’s 1956 not 1856. They are no longer a great power. Anthony Eden is no Mariano Rivera. Check yourselves.
Yellow Submarine: Stephen A understands the complexity of contractual obligations, but feels, quite frankly, it’s not in any one’s long term interest to release a clipped collection of dog crap less than two months after the White Album.
2016 Republican Primary: Stephen A forcefully elucidates for a skeptical Republican Party base that nominating a racist reality TV star in the face of grave problems for the nation, a diversifying electorate, and a yet to be resolved imbalance on the Supreme Court is an unwise strategy.
from The Big Lead http://ift.tt/1UP0mCs
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