'30 Teams in 30 Days' 2015-2016 NBA Season Preview: #18 Sacramento Kings

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  • Odds to win the 2015-2016 NBA Championship: 300:1
  • 2014-2015 Record: 29-53 (Missed Playoffs).
    • 2015 Draft Results:
      • Willie Cauley-Stein, University of Kentucky (6th Overall)
    • Key Offseason Additions: Rajon Rondo, Kosta Koufos, Marco Belinelli
    • Key Offseason Losses: Derrick Williams, Nik Stauskas, Jason Thompson
  • Projected Starting Lineup:

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  • Player Salaries:

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  • Season in Review:

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The Good: DeMarcus Cousins is somehow still on the team’s roster. For now.

The Bad: Speaking of Cousins, is it fair to say he’s somewhat inefficient? Don’t get me wrong: Boogie gets buckets. I say this only in the context in that I consider him to be the most talented offensive center in the NBA, thus, I expect his numbers to agree with me. Let’s take a deeper look at his 2014-2015 season.

Before I get to the “inefficiency” topic, I wanted to see how DeMarcus compared to his closest competition for the “best offensive big man in the league” title: Anthony Davis. I used http://ift.tt/1jaeNjO to pull the following data:

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After further review: the ruling on the field is overturned, DeMarcus Cousins is NOT the best offensive big man in the NBA. It’s not particularly close either, based on these shooting efficiency statistics. The rebuttal is: “Well, Unibrow might be a better shooter but DeMarcus is a better all-around offensive player” and that couldn’t be any further from the truth either, evident by Davis’ insane 122 ORTG/30.8 PER vs. Boogie’s 104 ORTG/25.2 PER.

The next step is to compare DeMarcus Cousins to the rest of the field, and the results are alarming…

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I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you that Boogie is all-of-a-sudden an average player. He is talented beyond belief … however, him either lowering his volume or increase his efficiency is essential for this Kings franchise to succeed – otherwise, he’s just going to be the center version of Monta Ellis.

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The Ugly:

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  • Baseless God Wob

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Where to begin with this absolute disaster of a franchise. I guess we should start at the top with Team Owner Vivek Ranadive, who has somehow … someway made us think: would the Kings have just been better off with the damn Maloofs? Now, before you start hurling feces at me – what Vivek did to buy the team and keep it in Sacramento speaks for itself. He and Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson single-handily kept the franchise from moving and resurrected a fan base that was just dying for an ownership group who is committed to spending money and winning. The fans got their wish, but, they made a deal with the devil. Vivek stepping in feels like the NBA equivalent of what goes down when a dictator is overthrown: everyone jumps for joy as they are freed of the tyrant’s rule, but, soon come to realize they replaced him with an oligarchy which is equally destructive in its own ways.

The Sacramento Kings’ jet fuel-induced dumpster fire started at the beginning of last season when Vivek fired Head Coach Mike Malone, who was not only a favorite of the players, but, had Sacramento come flying out-of-the-gates to the top of the Pacific division standings. Then, disaster: DeMarcus Cousins was diagnosed with viral meningitis and was sidelined for more than a month. The Kings, without their best player, faltered — and their record fell to 11-13. Mike Malone was shockingly fired 24 games into the season, and per NBA news maven Adrian Wojnarowski – the dismissal ignited a fire within the players/locker room that still has not been put out to this day.

Part of the reason why this firing happened is that Vivek hired a general manager after he hired Head Coach Mike Malone – and per that same Woj article: “[General Manager] D’Alessandro and Malone had no history together, no trust and, ultimately, no chance together.” WTF? This wasn’t the first time Vivek messed up a front-office personnel decision … remember that time he overrode the decision of his entire basketball operations staff and told them to draft Nik Stauskas (who was dumped to Philadelphia this Summer for nothing), with Ben McLemore already on the roster from the previous year’s draft, instead of Elfrid Payton and/or Noah Vonleh?

The year went along and the Kings were awful. Ok, that’s fine – teams have disappointing years all the time it’s not like Vivek went out and hired George Karl to be the new Head Coach of the team for the 2015-2016 year or anyth-OH MY GOD HE DID

Karl’s first act as the Kings’ leader? Try and trade DeMarcus Cousins.

No trade happened, and Karl denied any and all claims that he was actually looking to do so. It looks like DeMarcus totally believed him, tweeting out a snake in grass emoji – which several all-star players, who have been burned by George Karl in the past, have also done:

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THIS. IS. AWK-WARD. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP-CLAP-CLAP.

http://ift.tt/1CI3iyq

Oh, Vivek wasn’t done. As shit hit the fan, he reportedly tried to have George Karl fired four months after signing him – and was looking for legal ways to VOID HIS CONTRACT!!!!

With his casino chips dwindling like he’s a degenerate on the back end of a bad Vegas bender, he shoved everything he had left onto the craps table. No, not on the pass line – rather, on the NBA equivalent of the “I shouldn’t do this. This is stupid, it’s not going to hit. Ok, F**k it, LET IT RIDE” fire bet where you need the roller to bang out 3 or 4 points to get paid … RAJON RONDO.

Coming off not only the worst season of his career, but, one where the levels of team-chemistry toxicity he produced made Chernobyl look like a sewage spill – Vivek decided to give this man $9.5 Million to play professional basketball. Rajon Rondo, DeMarcus Cousins, and George Karl in the same locker room – WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

Don’t even get me started on the fact that Vivek offered a player WITH A TORN ACHILLES (Wes Matthews) a 4 year/$64 million contract WHO REJECTED IT(ALL OF THE LOLS) as quickly as most people do on Tinder when they see someone’s profile picture being of them taking a bathroom mirror selfie — and then went and gave that money to Kosta Koufos and Marco Belinelli.

In conclusion: someone needs to remind the Kings’ ambitious owner that his decisions have repercussions. Just because he has billions of dollars does not mean he can do whatever the hell he pleases and can buy himself out of a bad basketball operations transaction. He has burned almost every bridge within his own organization, and this is only the beginning – as the world’s most active volcano: ‘Mount Boogie’ is on the verge of blowing its top and destroying the entire region of Northern California once-and-for-all. Vivek, you’ve got the passion and desire to field a winning franchise. No-one’s going to deny that – rather, I think I speak for all Kings fans when I say: let the people you hire do their damn jobs.

Which leads us to my prediction for the 2015-2016 Sacramento Kings…

  • 2015-2016 Season Projection:
    • 30-52 Record
    • 11th Place in West
    • No Playoffs
  • Fan Mindset, as told by Hollywood:
    • Climbers, Vertical Limit
  • Baseless God Wob’s 3 Divine Questions:

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  • Does DeMarcus Cousins get traded during the season?
  • Should the kings start DeMarcus Cousins and Willie Cauley-Stein together?
  • What’s the next absurdly radical move that Vivek makes?

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OTHER NBA SEASON PREVIEWS/PRESEASON RANKINGS:



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